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fantastic World Cup championship game, congratulations to Japan!

July 17, 2011 Leave a comment

Sport in childhood. Association football, show...

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Congratulations to Japan on winning the women’s World Cup in soccer in a beautiful demonstration of what soccer can be. Both teams played to the highest level and played beautifully. The soccer gods were smiling on the Japanese and the Americans will be kicking themselves for their inability to convert their numerous chances in the first half. The skill level was exceptional and there was no evidence of cynical play. Sportsmanship was everywhere and the host nation Germany turned out in record numbers to witness the event. The Americans showed a lot of class and are to be congratulated on their superb performance throughout the term. We are as proud of them as we can be and in time we hope that that helps them with their obvious disappointment. Our hearts go out to them but even more so to the people.

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Developing leadership in all our young athletes

May 25, 2010 Leave a comment

Like anything involving kids, you want to make sure that you start with the absolute basics and set them up for success. That’s what you would do if you were teaching a new foot skill in soccer, and leadership shouldn’t be any different.

Stay focused on the basics of leadership with your kids. Here are a few ways that you can reliably improve their leadership.. Try these on for size and you will be amazed at how far they can get by the end of the season:

Develop a club approach to leadership that involves mixing age groups, so that the older players have an opportunity to share their knowledge and and experience in leadership with their juniors.. This way they get to use their maturity and seniority to their own advantage. You would be surprised at how eagerly our great young people will rise to the occasion and take on responsibility for helping the younger ones.

Like anything, though, the leadership role of our older players must be something that is explicitly valued by the club and in the coaching philosophy. You need to set these young athletes up for success by modeling excellent behavior with them in their formative years and consistently throughout their career. In this way, by the time they get to the senior position they will be fully prepared to take on a leadership role.

A good way to get started is in the teaching of individual skills and in leading the team through warm-up and stretching exercises at the start of practice and cool down and stretching exercises at the end. These can be ritual routines that are easy to learn and yet give our young people an opportunity to exercise excellence in practice.

Selecting captains for the team as an important way for kids to take on leadership roles during the actual play of the game. I like to rotate Kinship among the kids in the reward for their hard work during the week of practice and this makes can explicit connection between hard work and leadership rewards.

Finally, go out of your way to praise leadership and others, especially when the take the initiative to make on the spot corrections were to share their knowledge work to enforce the high standards of your club. In this way we showed that we value their initiative and leadership.

Enjoy the season!

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Helping kids understand what success in sports is all about

May 25, 2010 1 comment

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Kids end up playing sports for a whole host of reasons. It’s not always the case, in fact it’s rarely the case, that a desire to succeed is the number one reason for their playing. it’s much more likely that they are enrolled in sports on behalf of their parents, or because their friends are doing it, or because they are curious, or they need something for fitness. The explicit desire to succeed is rarely the primary reason for joining.

Now that you have them on the team, though it’s important for you to set the tone about how to incorporate success into our vision for the team. It’s important that kids learn how to compete in a healthy manner and appreciate the importance of setting goals that can include winning the game.

I think it’s far more important though, it is important that the coach and parents decide explicitly, before the season even starts, on the definitions of success for the individuals and for the team. The coach needs to express his or her philosophy of success and have buy-in from the parents so that we speak to the young student athletes with a consistent and clear message.

For example, I use these five coaching points to define success for our kids: play hard, have fun, support the team, love the game and respect the other team and ref.

These are reinforced at every practice and every game. These are the measures by which we will judge our own success. I ask the girls to evaluate themselves before, during and after each game in order to emphasize what it takes to be a winner of our team.

It’s common in young teens to experience crisis of confidence. By having these simple and repetitive touchstones, we can help them focus on the things that really matter and thereby learn what the game has to teach us about life.

By making our expectations and standards clear, and creating a bridge from the field of athletics to the field of life, we are helping our young student athletes develop the skills you will need to define their own success in the future.

By having them grade themselves at each and every game, they get in the habit of comparing themselves against their goals which will help them achieve their goals in the future.

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Developing discipline in young athletes

May 25, 2010 2 comments

John Wooden at a ceremony on Oct. 14, the coac...
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A lot of people believe that you have to be harsh and loud to be an effective disciplinarian. The great example of UCLA coach John Wooden however tells us that discipline is much more than volume. It has everything to do with doing the right things in the right way on a routine basis in order to create an identity that will guide us through difficult times.

As an analogy, military discipline is what holds good units together in times of maximum stress and combat. The discipline anchors us into routine ritual behaviors which have a survival payoff in combat.

In sports, the discipline to do the right thing in the right way every day builds the habits that we need to win on the practice field so that they’ll be available to us automatically in the game.

As an example, if we are in the habit of wearing her uniform properly, then the equipment will not fail us at the crucial moment. If we follow a discipline of warm-up and stretching before every practice, and doing it in again will come as second nature and our injury rate will be much lower.

If we are in the habit of performing our little tasks to a high standard even when no one else is looking, and that discipline will carry over into how we performed on the big tasks.

How do we help young athletes achieve a state of discipline? I think it’s necessary to begin realistically with a few small things that we can build on as we grow our discipline muscles. “If the attitude of the team in your group huddle. When the coaches speaking everyone should be giving him their full attention. As a coach, if you see your players not paying attention or talking with when you’re talking, and how you handle that moment will go a long way towards establishing the climate of discipline.

When your athletes are talking out of turn, they have to know already that this is not acceptable behavior. That means you had to have told them in the very first practice what the standards are for the team when you’re talking. There to give you the respect full undivided attention and be ready to taking your words and apply them on the practice field. Inevitably, some kids will be talking when you’re talking.

Be firm but fair and insist upon their attention before you proceed. You can even ask them if they have anything else that like to contribute to the group before you proceed with your information. They will quickly get the message that it’s not their turn to talk. If their behavior persists, then you may have to take them aside and explain to them why their behavior is unacceptable and what the standards of the team are.

Make sure you framed this as a choice that they will make in order to be a member of the team. You cannot impose discipline on others, you can only encourage it by the force of your personal example.

As in all things, teaching by example is the best way to instill the lessons of disciplining your young athletes. Pay attention carefully when they’re talking, and take them seriously. Show them that you care about the little things in the way that you use language and care for equipment. Insist on doing things the right way for the right reasons and reinforce those lessons verbally with them so that they see how discipline touches everything on our team.

John Wooden started his UCLA season with a demonstration of how to properly trim toenails and fingernails. He was making the point that at UCLA they did everything properly, keep that in mind as you prepare for your next practice. Good coaching!

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Appreciative Coaching: The Power of Positive Self Talk

May 20, 2010 1 comment

A football striker wearing the number 10 shirt...
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One  of the biggest challenges that young soccer players face is the issue of inner dialogue or self talk. By this I mean the inner narrative that goes through players had unconsciously or somewhat consciously as the game unfolds in front of them. A lot of things go into what a player here since I better head. Depending on their background and upbringing and culture and the nature of your coaching, they can hear very different things going on and this will have an important impact on how they play the game and how they experience the game as they continue to develop.

If your coaching style is aggressive and judgmental and directed towards the person, it would not be surprising for the player self talk to also be aggressive and judgmental. This can create feelings of intimidation and pressure on the field. This would make it difficult for the player to relax and enjoy the game and to be in the kind of creative mood that is ideal for expressing themselves on the field.

We can affect the self talk in a couple of important ways. I consider to be one of the most important coaching obligations especially with younger players to help them develop the inner resources that enable them to deal with the pressures of the game and their life.

The first thing you can do is provide the player a set of easily remembered words to use as they tried to make sense of the very fluid game. Phrases like “we clear the ball wide and up the side”, repeated often in practice and during games and during question-and-answer sessions make it easy for the player to remember what to do in that tactical situation. Consistency,  repetition and memorable phrases give your players the tools they need to shape their own internal dialogue.

The next important thing you can do is to set the tone for how to approach the results of their efforts. Remember that the game of soccer is so dynamic and volatile that our plans rarely come off without a hitch. We should expect the ball to take funny bounces and for other players to make surprising plays. Our mindset should be one of positive initiative, trying to do the best we can and then accepting the results, and moving onto the next play without being judgmental. In this way we have an opportunity to help our players seize the moment and enjoy the beautiful game.

Self talk is an important part of the young players emotional resilience and personal development. It’s a psychological part of the game that coaches should pay special attention to.

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Youth soccer coaching: preparing your halftime speech

May 17, 2010 5 comments

A typical youth soccer game.
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It should be the goal of every soccer coach to develop players who take personal responsibility for their play and the play of their team throughout the game. In  soccer, however, sometimes it is too easy for the adult coach to become the dominant personality on the side of the field and become very dictatorial in the halftime speech. If you want your players to develop emotional resilience and maturity, it’s important that you let them take responsibility for evaluating their play in the first half and deciding on what things they should improve on in the second half.

When the referee blows the whistle to signal the end of the first half, every player on the field should hustle smartly over to the side and get their drink without being told. It’s important that we go on and off the field with a high degree of energy to indicate our fitness for play and their positive attitude. Hustle doesn’t mean just on the field; it’s also the tone that we set in everything we do.

After the players are refreshed, they should sit in a circle around you as the coach and you should initiate the halftime discussion by asking them to grade themselves in five different areas:

Playing hard: this is the most important grade, because it asks for self-awareness and personal responsibility. You’ve players that you 11 are capable of evaluating their play on a letter grade basis just like in school. If anything, I will tend to agree with the lowest level of grade but never a failing grade because we want to build on their emotional strengths. A grade of C- through  B+ allows them to grow into an excellent second half, especially if it’s their idea. It’s important that we play hard first, so that we can then have fun. We can’t have fun if were not playing hard.

Having fun: ask them how much they’re enjoying the game. By asking this question after the playing hard question, we reinforce the idea that first times ever then comes enjoyment. You can ask them what they can do to have even more fun and it will usually relate to scoring more goals are playing better defense. Encourage those ideas.

Support the team: after they give themselves a grade, ask them what they can do to improve on support of the team. This will normally lead them to say partner passing, getting back on defense, improving their formation, covering for another player, were talking to each other on both offense and defense.

Love the game: we want to connect to their passion for the game because, after all, it is the beautiful game.

Respect the other team and ref: ask them to describe one or two things the other team is doing particularly well in which we can learn from in the second half. We also want to be aware of their strengths so that we can develop ideas on how to counteract them. Reminding them to respect the referee reinforces the rules of the game and civilized behavior.

This set of five questions, with the players honestly evaluating themselves will go a long way towards developing the emotional resilience, sportsmanship and personal responsibility which is the hallmark of excellent teams and great sports.

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Youth soccer coaching: improving the confidence of your individual players with 1000 touches a day

May 17, 2010 4 comments

SAN DIEGO - JULY 16: Amy Rodriguez #8 of the ...
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There is a tendency in American youth soccer to emphasize winning and losing at all costs and at the earliest ages. This tendency should be combated in order to develop players who have the emotional reselling is to try things out and who have an innate love of the game.

The only way to develop players with these qualities is to emphasize the enjoyable aspects of play and innovation in practice. By structuring your practices to ensure that each player gets to touch the ball 1000 times with their feet, over time you will develop players who are confident and relaxed with the ball and are willing to try new things. This will lead to a love of the game and excellence on the soccer field.

Although most youth soccer practices last between 60 and 90 minutes, there still is plenty of time to get 1000 touches of the ball in every practice by ensuring that everything you do features contact with the ball in some way. You should never have your players running for fitness without a ball.

Your warm-ups should include many hundreds of touches with both feet. Her passing drills in receiving the ball drills allow them to quickly accumulate their touches.

Small sided games and high intensity short duration passing drills allow you to get your touches in early in the practice while still leaving time for scrimmaging at the end of the session.

It’s extremely important that our players are not intimidated by the sight of the ball coming to them. We want them to have a positive attitude towards possession of the ball. We want them to seek out the ball and to fight for it and we can only get there if they have confidence in themselves that they know what to do with it once they have the ball.

By structuring your practices to feature 1000 touches a day, over time you will develop that love of ball possession that is the hallmark of the truly exceptional player.

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Haitian Women’s national soccer team needs help

May 11, 2010 3 comments

{{en|1={{en|1=Haiti}} Orthographic projection ...
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This is a request for help to me that came from a close, personal friend of mine, Gaspard D’alexis, that I feel compelled to share with you.


Gaspard is the coach of the Omega Soccer Club here in Kansas City, and he is a pure and gentle soul, who has answered the call for help from his homeland of Haiti to help them rebuild their lives. Our teams have shared a partnership over the last few years and I ‘ve gotten to know him well.


Latest news http://www.kansascity.com/2010/04/20/1890727/kansas-city-coach-picked-to-restore.html


The soccer community in Kansas City is mobilizing to help him, but I thought I would do more by sharing his story with you.  My daughter plays on his team and I am helping his teams while he is in Haiti. Your thoughts and prayers are welcome; if  you can do more, I can testify to the need and the integrity that touches everything Gaspard does.


here is a moving ESPN documentary story of the Haitian women’s nation team that says it far better than my words can: http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/eticket/story?page=100427/Haitisoccer


Hello Friends,You are receiving this email because you are among the special people I have had the privilege to work with, directly or indirectly, either in the past or in the present time. You might not know, but last month I was appointed Head Coach of Haiti ’s National Women’s Soccer Team by the Haitian Soccer Federation.  I am filling one of many voids created by the terrible earthquake that ravaged Haiti . The Head Coach, a friend of all Haitians, was one of the federation members who perished during the earthquake.

There are no words I can use to describe the current situation in Haiti and there are no words I can use to describe the way I feel about it. However, if I could have given my life in exchange for Haiti ’s misfortune, I would have done so without hesitation. Since the tradeoff did not happen and God put me on a different path, I promise to do my very best in what lays in front of me as the head coach and as a fellow Haitian and that is to help the Haitian people. It will take time, but with hard work, effort, and help “a lot of it” there is hope for a better tomorrow for Haiti .

My job description is not only to coach the women’s senior national team, but also to build the women’s soccer program in Haiti . I am doing so with very little money and few resources. One can ask why the importance is on the Haitian Soccer Team when the country needs everything.  The response is that soccer is a passion for the Haitian people and it brings unity among them. It reinforces hard work and common goals that give hope of improvement for all Haitian people.

“Walking together united in memory of you

We want to play regardless the circumstance
We may not have a field left to practice
We may now be living on the grass of our stadium
We may not have the proper equipment
We may, for now, only eat to survive
We know we are the lucky ones
We want to play because we are thankful for what we have
We know that surviving is our friend for a reason
We know that you are looking upon us
We want to make you proud of our effort
We want to make you smile wherever you are
We want to give you reasons to hope
We know hope is all we’ve got for now.
We know that hope is what we can afford…”

I’m trying to raise enough money to create a monthly allowance of $50.00 for each player on the national programs. We have currently sixty girls in three different age groups. The yearly budget stands at $36,000 and would cover all players for a year. The allowance will impact directly and positively sixty families. For most of the Haitian players it would be their only income to buy the bare minimum like water, soap and rice among others. Please, go to our web site at:www.haitiwomenssoccer.com if you would like to help me help Haiti . And then, you should please send to me an email to let me know the level of your help.

Thank you very much,

Gaspard Dalexis

Haiti National Women Soccer Team: 9807, Woodland Lane , Kansas City , MO 64131 913-484-1595


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Stanley Cup vs Superbowl: Peyton’s walk of shame

February 9, 2010 Leave a comment

Stanley Cup in Hockey Hall of Fame
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all the controversy about Manning walking off the field only highlights the difference between hockey and football culture

Football is full of “me me me”: TO, Ocho Cinco, trash talking:  juvenile

Hockey is about the team AND respect for the other teams, all of them, who pushed you beyond what you thought were your limits:  Your opponent is respected fro their effort that made you go thru their fire.

Hockey’s tradition of handshaking is planned for, expected, and is for me the highlight of a yearlong honorable quest, even better than the skating of the cup, when you get to see the players acknowledge each other after the competition: its what makes us civilized again, right after the supreme competitive effort.

That’s why Cindy Crosby’s snub of Nick Lidstrom last year was so telling; Crosby lacked the maturity and poise to do the right thing, being so caught up in the moment; That’s what boys do, men  remain centered

American football culture cant wait to crown the winners and discard the “losers”. To even think in those terms tells you whats wrong with football culture that cant make time for the acknowledgement of the other.

If Peyton were a hockey player, with his respect for the game and his intensity, he would have been the first in line to congratulate, because he honors the traditions. But because he is a football player, he did what football players do: he acted like a loser and cleared the stage.

Football would be better if it were more like hockey.

Football would be better if it WERE hockey

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Keep going!

November 22, 2008 Leave a comment

There is a Moment in every closely contested  MMA or judo match when both guys think they are losing and are almost lost.  They have taken themselves right to the edge, and they can see what the other guy can do to win. 

It is not unusual for that moment to happen simultaneously in close matches. The win often (but not always) goes to the guy that finds a way to keep going in that moment of maximum uncertainty, to the guy who is fully committed to the moment.  That full committment is necessary but not sufficient; it is not a guarantee of the outcome.

All games worth playing have that element of dynamic uncertainty right up until the decision. It’s why we play good games, because that reality captures our sense of life itself. We don’t know how it will turn out in the close ones,in the ones that matter, the ones that pull us in to the Moment. That’s the moment you MUST make that full committment and then let Life have its way.  Trust in the outcome and Life will be Just.

Your rewards come from the act of committment not from the specific outcome. Life asks: can you find a game (any activity, purpose, project, goal, value) to which you will committ your everything? and in the moment of decision can you go all in? If you are engaged in games other than that, ask why? and then ask when? and why not start now?

My  under 10 girl’s soccer team is going to talk about this today before we go try to put a whuppin’ on Blue valley Soccer Club, a most excellent team to play against. They are strong, fast and skilled, and are committed to playing at their highest level. We aim to be a team worthy of playing them. We honor ourselves, our opponents and the game when we do that.

Keep going! and see what happens!

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